By Jacklyn Janeksela
because i am not old enough, i have to wear turtlenecks
under low-cut dresses
to provoke man is a sin equal to adultery, affirms a church matron
i am 10-ish or so
those big red puffy sleeves make me crazy for the dress
& the ruffled apron garnish
i want to get married in red, but i’m told to stop talking
that’s silly talk & god blesses good little virgin vaginas
what is cleavage? is that like cleaver, like butcher knives in scary movies?
someone covers my mouth
& i touch the palm with the tip of my tongue
i am so sick of writing “i will not blahblahblah” a hundred times
to rid myself of sin
church is a waste of time
but good thing we’re baptist
so we don’t have to kneel like those catholics
i tell this to my brother, but only telepathically
because he’s a spy like the rest of the lot
cover the four corners
& i swear they are talking about
a banquet table or a table of any size or a bed
ears pierced –13, makeup –16, driving –18
no dating, i am engaged to god or his son –maybe both
i didn’t verbally refuse, thus it is so
at sunday school we write devil on the bottoms of our shoes
but i don’t feel right stomping him out
he’s a faithful friend, more than tanya or raven or beth
at night i masturbate with the devil
mutual masturbation he calls it
he descends upon me like his true self, an angel-dove
tells me i am as powerful as i want to be
he visits every other night, he’s a busy man
and does tricks like
manifests himself in my pillow or my finger
when later i confess to my father-son fiancé
i swear i can hear the creaking of the door
some say, don’t worry, that’s just jesus christ coming into your heart
jacklyn janeksela is a poet among other things. her art/poetry can be found @ felled limbs, The Tower Journal, Oddball Magazine, The Nervous Breakdown, Berfrois, e-ratio Poetry Journal, All in Your Head, Thirteen Myna Birds, Barrelhouse, Uut Poetry, Thought Catalog, & Luna Magazine. she is in a post-punk band called the velblouds. her artwork @ femalefilet, her blog for women about women, is her baby.more artwork can be found here: http://artmugre.tumblr.com/ & http://jotacuadrada.tumblr.com/
Art: by Michelle Johnsen
Michelle Johnsen (art editor) is a nature and portrait photographer in Lancaster, PA, as well as an amateur herbalist and naturalist. Her work has been featured by It’s Modern Art, Susquehanna Style magazine, Permaculture Activist magazine, EcoWatch.com, EarthFirst! Journal, Lancaster Farm Fresh Cooperative, and used as album art for Grandma Shake!, Anna & Elizabeth, and Liz Fulmer Music. Michelle’s photos have also been stolen by AP, weather.com, The Daily Mail, and Lancaster Newspapers. You can contact her at mjphoto717 [at] gmail.com.